The Ultimate Showdown
by Leiko Mika
Summary: Two girls named Kat and Momo, kitties, mikl, wrenches, a super big party, Winry, a talking suit of armor, dancing hula toys, a shinny metal puppy, and a supermegaultra spitball cannon 2000. Find out how they're all connected in this exciting story!


**AN:** Yeah, this was written as an ongoing RPing email between two people sitting in the same house, so it's written like a play script instead of a regular RP, and it lacks proper punctuation and capilization, but no one cares! **_-_**hee hee, our bad**_-_** anyway, it's still funny. Sooooo…..ummmm……alrighty class, this is a fun little story written by two really good friends under the influence….of sleep deprivation….and, um……sugar….ENJOY!

**Disclaimer: **tell me again why fanfiction makes us write these. I mean, if I really owned FMA and everything else in this story, I wouldn't waste my time posting it on fan**FICTION**, now would I? That would just be a pointless waste of time and instead I could make lots of money putting it somewhere else like on TV.

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**The Ultimate Showdown**

**Kat**: (transmutes 3 doors) Choose your prize!  
**Momo**: I pick (transmutes the 3 doors into 1) that one  
**Kat**: DAMN YOU! You win an automail certificate, the fma soundtrack, and the 50 billion red coats that Ed has. OH! And a pile of Black Hayate's dung!  
**Momo**: umm...(transmutes shit into Brussels Sprouts) HA HA! I can put bristle sprouts down the food disposal! Anyway, with this automail certificate, I'm gonna do something. With the 50 billion red coats, I'm gonna sell some of them on eBay for lots of money.  
**Kat**: (draws a transmutation circle on the ground and transmutes a sink) There's the food disposal:-D And now... TO DO A JIG! (transmutes mini Kat hula dancers and dances with them)  
**Momo**: hmmm...(transmutes a pretty damn awesome stereo system with pump it blaring on it) LET'S ALL DO A JIG! (does a jig with Kat and he mini Kat hula dancers)  
**Kat**: (transmutes a phone and calls Al, Full metal chibi, Winry and Granny Pinako) HAI! (keeps dancing while they join in.)  
**Momo**: HOORAY FOR DOING A JIG! (transmutes an awesome dance floor with awesome lights and an awesome DJ booth with awesome music blaring from it) AWESOME!  
**Kat**: w00t! (throws Winry a wrench to break dance with)  
**Momo**: Awesome. (picks up a kitty and gives it to al, transmutes a big dance suit for the kitty, kitty starts bustin' a move, al starts bustin' a move, ed starts break dancing, and I am the DJ scratchin' some awesome music)  
**Kat**: (challenges Ed to dance off) THAT ALL YOU GOT FULLMINI!

**Ed**: YOU BIZNATCH!  
**Kat**: P  
**Ed**: FRUCK YOU! (dance more)  
**Kat**: (does a pwnful coffee grinder.)  
**Momo**: OOH! WHAT NOW, FULL HALF PINT!  
**Ed**: WHO YOU CALLIN' SO SHORT I COULD FIT IN A TEN GALLON HAT! (gets hit by one of Kat's awesome break dancing moves and falls flat on his face)  
**Kat**: Oops, my bad, I never thought a chibi would hit the floor so damn hard.  
**Ed**: (fuming) mghnmm, mghmmmnnhh, mnhgmngmn!  
**Momo**: What was that, Shorty? Oh, you bow down to the glory of Kat?  
**Ed**: (finally getting his face off the floor) DAMN YOU BOTH!  
**Kat** **and Momo**: P  
**Ed**: (goes and pouts in a corner)  
**Kitty**: meow.

**Kat**: (mumbles.) Baby  
**Ed**: I FIRE SPIT BALLS IN YOUR GENERAL DIRECTION!  
**Ed**: (transmutes a super-mega-ultra spitball cannon 2000 and fires a huge wad of spitty spit balls at Kat's head the laughs an evil uncontrollable laugh)  
**Kat**: (gets hit and as the wad slides off her face an angry expression was revealed.) OH, ITS ON NOW! (transmutes a pillow and chucks it at Ed's big head)  
**Ed**: (gets hit and falls forward on his face... AGAIN!) SHIT! That hurt! Wait amminute... THIS PILLOW IS STUFFED WITH FRUCKIN' WRENCHES!  
**Kat**: (snickers and dances around) "I JUST EFFIN' PWNED J00 SO EFFIN' HARD!" (dance)  
**Winry**: WHAT THE FUCKIN HELL ARE YA'LL DOING!  
**Momo**: umm...long story short, they were having a dance off, ed got pwned, got mad and shot spit balls at Kat, Kat threw pillow at ed, pillow had wrenches in it, and now there's a mini war going on. (whew)  
**Winry**: Oh... well now I don't care. Who do you think is gonna win.  
**Ed**: DIE YOU CRAZY NGE (Neon Genesis Evangeline) OTAKU! (transmutes a big inflated hammer)  
**Momo**: I'm bettin' on Kat, she's got a better entourage of comebacks and has the power of the wrenches.  
**Kat**: YOU'RE SUCH A WEAKLING! (transmutes a super soaker high-powered, high pressured, ice cold MILK machine gun)  
**Winry**: umm...seeing how things are going now, I'm with you (Winry and I both absent mindedly dodging a flying wrench while Winry is talking)  
**Ed**: NOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOT MILK! ARGH! (gurgle, gurgle, gurgle)  
**Momo and** **Winry**: (snickering)

**Kat**: DAMMIT ED! WHY ARE YOU SO DAMN WIMPY (not to mention shrimpy)?  
**Ed**: WHO YOU CALLIN' SO SMALL A SHRIMP COULD EAT ME! (transmutes a mini Kat with spiked red hair)  
**Kat**: THAT ALL YOU GOT, SHORT STUFF! (transmutes a shiny silver mechanical dog that the mini Kat runs after ooohhhh…..shiiiiiiinny! )  
**Ed**: (laughs as he sneaks behind her about to beat her with the rubber hammer.)  
**Kat**: (blocks and transmute it into ash.) WHO YOU CALLING A NGE OTAKU YOU ALCHEMY BIZNATCH!  
**Ed**: (claps hand and transmutes a rubber inflated lance thing.) YAR GAH! FDGFDAHFDH! (charges at Kat with tip pointed at her.)  
**Kat**: (transmute a 5'8 ft long plastic inflated wrench) Oooo. Lookie, its taller then j00. (blocked again and bops the wrench on Ed's head.)  
**Ed**: (gets hit in-betweens words.) WHY -hit- YOU -hit- I -hit- WILL -hit- EFF -hit- IN' -hit- KILL -hit hit- YOU! (ducks and transmutes Kat's shoes into fluffy fuzzy pink Barbie slipper)  
**Kat**: (eyes twitches) SCREW YOU!  
**Ed**: (cackles again)  
**Kat**: YOU'RE GONNA PAY FOR THAT, YOU PIPSQUEAK! (transmutes a keg of milk and points a tube at Ed's mouth and fires. The milk goes into Ed's mouth)  
**Ed**: GAHHHHH! GURGLE, GURGLE, GURGLE! (translations into: "DAMMIT! I HATE MILK. DAMN YOU!)  
**Winry**: hmm...Ed hates milk, but I didn't know he hated it THAT much!  
**Momo**: wow. He hates milk more than I hate Brussels's Sprouts!  
**Kat**: I SHOT MILK IN YOUR GENERAL DIRECTION!  
**Ed**: DAMN YOU (transmutes a rope of lace)  
**Kat**: NOOO! NOT THE LACE! (runs and transmutes a big inflatable wrench filled with milk)  
**Momo**: damn, it's about to smell a hell of a lot like cow in here  
**Winry**: can you transmute something that'll keep us from getting soaked in milk? I'd really appreciate NOT having to deal with that.  
**Momo**: my thoughts exactly (transmutes rubber jump suit type things)  
**Winry**: thank you. Now I don't have to deal with that opaque white liquid  
**Momo**: welcome (does spurt of milk while zipping up jump suit thingy)  
**Ed**: WHY THE HELL DO YOU KEEP USING SO MUCH DAMN M...mgnhgmbnfhmg (gets hit with a lot of milk)

**Kat**: tee hee (lace sweeps back at her) DAMN YOU, LACE! (takes a page out of Kimbly's book of BOOM! And makes the lace explode) damn lace!  
**Kat**: THAT'S IT! (transmutes kitties and a boom box playing the song,) Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty. Midget midget! Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty. A chibi, a chibi, oh, it's a chibi! Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty. Midget midget! Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty. A chibi, a chibi, oh, it's a chibi  
**Al: **KITTIES! (dances like the kitties)

**Ed**: GOD DAMMIT! (transmute a mini Roy and a mini Führer) Here comes Roy, only in central! Come to central we've got Roy. Here comes the Führer, only in central! Come to central we got the Führer. Forgot Ishbal. Central, oh central! Where corruption is, and the state alchemist are! Central, central, central, central, CAN YOU TRANSMUTE IT!  
**Winry**: (rolls or the floor laughing.)  
**Momo**: (trying to suppress laughter, but not succeeding) damn, that was funny. Whatcha gonna do about that, Ed! (starts rolling on the floor laughing right next to Winry)  
**Ed**: what am I gonna do? WHAT AM I GONNA DO! I'M GONNA PUNCH HER IN THE FACE WITH MY BARE HANDS!  
**Winry**, **Momo, and Kat**: good luck with that, chibi!  
**Al**: ummm...brother? They got you there. You need to be a bit taller to punch her  
**Ed**: DAMN ALL YOU TALL PEOPLE! (goes to a corner and pouts while stroking a kitty like some evil mastermind)  
**Pinako**: (walks into room) what are you nincompoops doing!  
**Winry**: ummm...well...  
**Momo**: long story short; we were having a party for some reason, Ed and Kat had a dance off, Ed's face hit the floor, we all laughed, Ed got pissed, shot a gimongo spit ball at Kat, Kat and Ed have big alchemy showdown, Kat totally kicks Ed's chibi ass, we all laugh at Ed, Al disses his big bro, you walk in, and here we are...(whew) that was a mouth full! (face returns from blue-purple to its regular color)  
**Pinako**: oh. Just don't kill each other (walks out to go do…….something else…..)

**Al**: umm...  
**Ed**: that was weird  
**Kitty**: MEOW!  
**Kat**: Now then….what were we doing? Oh, now I remember, I was kickin' your fullmini ass! (clapped her hands together and transmute her long wrench to an inflated sword with charged at Ed as he stood up)  
**Ed**: (transmutes a balloon sword and blocks)  
**Kat**: Oh please... (pops the "sword" with her finger nail)  
**Ed**: I hate you... (claps hands and punctures a hole in her sword)  
**Kat**: THIS IS THE LAST STRAW! (started the hand slapping cat fight with end)

-Hours later-

**Winry**: (sits on the floor with Momo and Al.( Wow. It's getting late. KAT, ED! LET'S CALL IT A DAY!  
**Ed**: Good idea. (huff, puff)  
**Kat**: Yeah, you were getting your ass kicked so bad you're just begging to quit (huff, puff, whew)  
**Ed**: SHUT UP! (tries to run into Kat, but she just sticks out her hand and puts it on his head, keeping him from touching her. His arms are flying around everywhere)  
**Momo**: (yawn) I don't know about all of you, actually, I do know about Al, but I'm gonna hit he sack.  
**Al**: what do you know about me!  
**Momo**: I know that, in your current state, you can't sleep. So since I'm going to sleep, I know that your not cause it's physically impossible. anyway, g'night people.  
**Winry**: I'll walk with you. g'night y'all. (Winry and Momo start to walk back the house)  
**Al**: (sulking) it's not my fault I can't sleep because I'm a suit of armor (as pouty of a face a suit of armor can make)  
**Ed**: (starts sprinting) race you to the house, loser!  
**Kat**: (starts running after him) good luck beating me, chibi! You're gonna need longer legs (passes Ed and runs the rest of the way to the Rockbell's house)  
**Ed**: damn tall people and their long legs! (pout face)  
**Winry**: hmmmm...I wonder where Den is. DEN!  
**Den**: (bark bark woof)  
**Winry**: oh, there you are. (keeps walking up hill to her house)  
**Kitty**: MEOW! (jumps and lands on Den's back)  
**Den**: ...(keeps walking)  
**Kitty**: puuuuuuurrrrrrrrr (keeps sitting on Den's back)  
**All Humans/ Walking Suits of Armor**? (Momo and Kat's eyes twitch a little bit)  
**Kitty**: Meow!  
**Den**: Woof!  
(they all walk to the up to the house, but the hill is pretty damn big)

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**AN:** HOORAY! Now class, that's the outcome of writing with a friend under the influence…..of sleep deprivation…..and sugar……ummm…..class dismissed! 

Helpful fun sites that inspired certain parts of the story. Oh, if you can't tell what link goes with what part of the story, read the ENTIRE story again:

note: add **weels-stuff . com** to the beginning of these things

**/toons/badgers/ **

**/toons/kenya/ **

**/toons/ultimate+showdown/**

**AN2: **we're in the process of writing a second one of these as an actual story, but don't expect it anytime soon. School is such a pain. Ummmm…..yeah…..sorry for the stupidity and tediousness of the story, but Kat and I both think it's halariouse!


End file.
